Absolute Fervour

A short one

2011-04-11T02:23:00.002+08:00

I love her. She's one the reasons why i wake up in the morning crying and thanking to the man up above for having the feeling of warmth in my tarred soul..

Life is beyond comprehension

2011-04-04T18:20:00.002+08:00

I've just realised something ultimately revealing. The more you want something, the less you need it actually. Consider this, take two points of something, for example, one black one white, or up and down. Come to think of it, isn't is simple. It's one way or another. I just read this blog it says, confusion is the real want right now. So, this naturally means that what we actually need is to have the truth. Or else, we'll be caught up in such a disastrous outcome.

So, tell me how to get it, the truth. Where can we search for it and utilise and, lastly acquire peace and everything that comes with it ? But then again when you have the truth, can you truly be happy ? Can you handle the truth ?

I have tasted the taste of truth. I love it, at least i have come to learn to love it. Even though it tastes so strong and bitter, it's what's keeping me alive till this day. Where i am right now, truth is a rare spark of sunlight...it worries me...

B&H

2011-02-16T01:57:00.002+08:00

Tonight, well morning actually, I would like to express my thoughts that has been far too long caged in my mind. The thing is, how can you differentiate between what is right and wrong ? Love and hate ? Black and white ? I think it goes without saying that everyone has different views of something, nothing, anything and everything. Some would even say, why bother ? Will you make any difference by withstanding indifference ? I, for one, believe, tirelessly believe, fervently believe that with passion, anything is possible. :) It's just a matter of will, if you have it, then yes, your passion and will together combined with will will materialise into something beautiful !

Moment

2011-02-14T11:13:00.002+08:00

I have come to a stage of whereby i think that everything that has happened has already been planned by some force of a higher being. Simply put it, god. Because you see, sometimes even if you try to do something with all your heart and mind combined, it still won't happen.

A short expression of the moment

2010-12-03T12:39:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt like just running away from everything ? Just for that one brief moment.

Thank You

2010-11-29T23:38:00.002+08:00

I thought no one knew about this site of mine. It just so happen to be that, a friend of mine told like a bunch o friends (my friends too) about this little virtual part of my life. Of how the existence of this site comes into her knowledge, aku pun tak tau...ahahhaha...the thing is, well, i've come to a stage, whereby i would be totally selfless, non judgemental, non resistant, and non attached, it's kinda painful at first, but then again, you would be able to get a hold of yourself, total bliss i tells ya...ahhh.that reminds of me of popeye the sailor man,

About a few minutes before i wrote this, i logged in into facebook, and i saw how i was at about 2 years ago...slimmer, happier, and fucked up, in a good crazy way that is. Sometimes along the way, shit just comes up to you and you remind yourself of how you were, are and are gonna be...funny how i ended up smiling to myself thinking about it..how bout you? :) By the way, fuck you all :)

Logic & Reasoning

2010-11-19T23:41:00.002+08:00

I think for some strange reason i'm addicted to the pain which i'm currently in. Is it bad? Is it good ? Does anyone care? Is bothered? Concerned ? I tried my best ? Maybe i've tried too hard. Maybe i shouldn't even try. Because deep inside i'll just cry. Such a saint but such a whore. So indecisive but so adamant, need your love so fuck you all :))))

Inspired by the inspiring inspirators...

2010-11-18T01:41:00.001+08:00

My one true love flies up above the sky so high like a dove above and beyond.
My love for her is forevermoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

As i lay my breath upon your soul

2010-11-06T03:15:00.001+08:00

Dear Hanan, i truly love you, i am forevermore sorry for my weaknesses which leads to our unhappiness and sadness. I just hope that time will set everything for, insyallah, us...

A pinch of salt

2010-11-01T01:37:00.002+08:00

This is a song by eminem: Space Bound

We touch, I feel a rush, we clutch, it isn't much
But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us
It's lust, it's torturous, you must be a sorcerous
Cause you just, did the impossible, gained my trust
Don't play games it'll be dangerous if you fuck me over
Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show ya what it's like to hurt
Cause I've been treated like dirt befo' ya
And love is "evol", spell it backwards, I'll show ya

Nobody knows me, I'm cold, walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow, I show no emotion what'so ever, so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' hoes

Blood-suckin' succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department, but, I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be like tryin' to start over
I've got a hole in my heart from some kind of emotional roller-coasta';
Somethin' I won't go on till you toy with my emotions, ho it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold ya, wasn't jokin' when I told ya
You take my breath away, you're a supernova
And I'm a...

(Chorus)

I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
250, 000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
Right at you

(Verse 2)

I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm with you, I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't with you, I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we think's
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em, it's never the same
You want 'em when they don't want you, soon as they do, feelin's change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't lookin' when I stumbled onto you, musta been fate
But so much is at stake, what the fuck does it take, let's cut to the chase
'Fore the door shuts in your face, promise me if I cave in and break
And leave myself open that I won't be makin' a mistake
Cause I'm a

(Chorus)

I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
250, 000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
Right at you

(Verse 3)

So after a year and 6 months, it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts, never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin', I'm tryin' to stop you from leavin'
You won't even listen, so fuck it, I'm tryin' to stop you from breathin'
I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin'
Til' I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick, ain't a possible reason
I can think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this

(Bridge)

And I would've did anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now, it's too late to save our
Love
Just promise me you'll think of me
Every time you look up in the sky and see a star
Cuz I'm a

(Chorus)

I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
250, 000 miles and a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Without you

The reason for putting this on is to express how i feel. I think a lot of you out there can relate to this song. I think anyone can relate to this song. It's not just love out of relationship, it may be love out of anythng. :)

What is happening to me...

2010-02-27T02:31:00.002+08:00

Well, as life and time passes by, things become clearer and clearer. Day stretches into night faster than it has ever stretched before. It seems that, to me, being sad, or being happy, don't really matter.

Because, you know why? It's being bottled up all inside and all that shit is basically shared with yourself. You see ladies and gentleman, i will mention again the word, BASICALLY, so that means not on whole.The emphasis on the word basically is important. That's why they say, to please yourself is the saddest yet the happiest thing which you can have as a human being. You can't share it, you can't share your happiness the way it's supposed to be shared, the way you want it. Because you know why, if you do, then everyone in the world would see it as wrong, as blasphemy, as something that would put you out from the rest of the hypocrites(the normal people. Yes, that's right.

I don't know why we even exist on this world. To be a good creature and serve the purpose? Purpose of what? Religious? Political? What? TO BE WHAT YOU WANT YOU HAVE TO BE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT AND NEED YOU TO BE.Isn't that fucked up. There's so much anger within me building constantly, and from this anger, thoughts rushing through my mind, through every part of my body, through every breath that i take and make.

I love you, i really do, but why is it so difficult, why oh why, i love you till there's nothing else which matters. Is that right? Do you feel the same way? How so do you feel the same way. I have faith that it is true, that you love me, but i need prove.

Its been awhile

2009-12-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

Well..today it was quite wierd...felt tired the whole day...

langkawi

2009-12-04T19:39:00.001+08:00

i am in langkawi in a hotel in a room...i guess this is time off for me from work...escape from reality for awhile...i love thee with all my heart...in that in truth is not enough...i love thee for eternity...and through it all...i hope the love keeps the bond between our souls forever and ever...and ben is reading this while i type all o this..hehe

Terengganu

2009-11-24T11:42:00.002+08:00

Well i just got back from Terengganu yesterday.Reached at 3 o'clock in the morning.Drove all the way.I guess everywhere i go now work is always there. :)

TIred

2009-11-17T22:01:00.002+08:00

So cold..the rain dropping on my face..i ran..and ran..and ran..every part of my body was fueled with sadness..and i ran..tears from the sky accompanied me with every step that i took..i was alone..running..sweat ran down pouring..felt hot..really hot..but still i kept running.. even though its only a dream now..

Its never warm when she goes away...

2009-11-17T00:20:00.003+08:00

Sometimes...a man can withstand a certain burden at a certain limit...sometimes...a man can also withstand a burden over his limits or capabilities...but when it comes to the matters which are not physical nor mental...men would tend to lose...strangely and sadly as well as absurdly...it true...it aint no sunshine when she's gone...

Its never warm when she

2009-11-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

Life

2009-11-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

Senseless, abrupt, meaningless, temptation, lust, romance, love, sadness, happiness, and all the -less words...the simple definition of life

Tonight is a good night.

2009-09-17T22:28:00.003+08:00

In the living room. Time:22:30. With mom, dad, and the television, on. When i looked back and read my older posts, i felt kinda embarrassed and felt kinda stupid writing some of the things i wrote. Well, maybe there's a reason behind what i felt. That is, not to right dumb ass shits again.
And so he thought to himself and wrote
"There used to be a time where the first breath taken upon awaking from my deepest dream as a man, i feel the heaviest burden that is life being laid upon my chest. Now, it's changing, transitioning into something beautiful, an ache in the heart that doesn't seem to hurt in a bad way. Instead, it hurt in a good and haunting way. I guess i'm starting to have a reason to wake up in the morning to look forward to something, just anything. You, I love you so much that even when love is expressed through words, it's not enough for me. The man up there,he sent an angel so perfect, he sent the angel to love me, but i arrogantly chose to be ignorant. The angel's pain and sadness swept across the universe. I felt it and still ignored .Suddenly, the wind of longing brought upon turbulence in my heart. An orgasmic feeling accumulated in my body and mind. I tried to figure it out, why? why? why am i as such? Then it struck me, is this indeed love? Yes,i guess, yes i think, yes i feel, it is love, but why? Is she the one for me? My thoughts questioned all there is to be questioned even when i know in my heart, there is nothing else to be questioned. There is only you. Looking right through me,with your fiery and passionate eyes,again you tell me that you love me. All i can do right now, yes right now, is fall in love with you forevermore. XOXO

An awesome Day

2009-07-23T23:56:00.002+08:00

Revenge is the bastard child of justice. God is almighty for he created minds that are so powerful that beautiful words are expressed in such a way that it can live in the minds of many for thousands of years..Or even better, forever

One thing counts in the bank large amounts

2009-07-22T01:21:00.002+08:00

The content of this post has nothing to do with it's title. Why i put it? Only nobody knows. Are you a nobody? Could be. Hehehe. Words being birth by my thoughts. Ridiculous thoughts. Social networking? Blogging? Why do we have it? This this thing.What's the catch. There should always be a catch to these kinda things. Social networking. A place where you could show your pictures and bla bla..Same goes to the blogging. We put up all the information and data into the mentioned social networking websites and blogs so that we could show the world. Somewhere in between i just ain't satisfied with not knowing what the catch is.

H1n1

2009-07-18T00:01:00.002+08:00

H1N1. What is it to me? Disrupting my studies . Campus closed days after new cases started to sprout. Top management delayed the temporary closing down of the campus. Why? Why the delay? Well who cares. The vice chancellor, who is suppose to be the head of the institute doesn't seem to care. Right now at home, feeling quite sick, well not really, just having some unnecessary coughing due to the ever worsening haze. Who to blame? The Indonesians. This shit happens from time to time. My future, uncertain. My fate, so ever unclear due to the absence of clarity. Oh yeah, I've almost forgotten about the trip i took to Sungai Buloh. I went there to have a check to as whether I've got h1n1. Well when it was my turn, the doctor said I was fine. Yup, just like that. "You are fine". No blood tests or nothing. Waste of car gas. The end.

Perih By Andra & The Backbone

2009-06-07T01:39:00.004+08:00

Saat airmata
Membasahi bumi
Yang tak akan bisa
Menghapus sang pedih

Aku pun tak bisa
Saat kau meminta
Tuk bangkitkan lagi
Yang tlah lama mati

Biarlah
Biarlah semua
Berlalu
Seperti waktu
Dan kini
Hadapi semua
Walaupun itu perih

Ini bukan akhir dunia
Dan bukan segalanya
Janganlah berhenti
Sampai akhir nanti

Tak usah kau sesali
Dan tak perlu kau tangisi
Semua yang kembali
Walau tinggalkan perih

Walaupun itu perih..
Walaupun itu perih...
Walaupun itu perih....
Walaupun itu...

2009-05-14T01:47:00.002+08:00

What do you do when you wake up? Well, for me, when i wake up, i'll start to think, what time is it? Then, there's a heavy feeling which starts to consume my heart. I don't know whether to say it feels painful or just heavy. Oh well, then that's it. Semester break just started. Not much of a break by my standards. If i had the power to decide how my break is going to be then I want it to be where I just sleep all day long without having anyone to disturb me. Then when i wake up, i want to eat and eat and eat!!!!!!!! That's it for the rest of the month.

The wind of longing directed me home

2009-03-05T22:18:00.003+08:00

Yes. Tis has been almost far too long since i've posted anything. Just came back from campus. Mom, Dad, Bros, yeah, miss em all and now thanks to the wind longing, it brought me home, directing me to my loved ones. Every minute of our lives, we are dying of age. And most of us, we live our lives thinking "Wished i would've done this, wished i would've done that." All that crap....

2009-01-27T15:20:00.002+08:00

Realized so many things...that my knowledge on religion is low as it can get...women/woman i like are taken...and im gaining nothing but weight and knowledge...is there nothing more to life then just living the cycle...? you grow, you collect memories, then ultimately, you die, leaving nothing... i may sound like a pessimist but in truth im just being a realist and feel there's nothing more to life...yeap thats it.

Eid Mubarrak Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

2008-10-02T00:56:00.003+08:00

Well approximately 12 hours ago was the beginning of hari raya for me. Started the car's engine and went to Subang Jaya to visit friends and acquaintances. I was quite excited as i was also thinking of visiting some of my friends in Klang. Sadly, all of the Klangers weren't there to be visited. What can i do? Hahaha...there's always a next year right? Owh man, i hate it when ''there's always a next year'' comes passing by me. I started with the visitations by visiting my closest friend's house, Shafiq. It was heaven i tell you. Nasi briyani, pulut, all the food you can eat man!!! shit...anyways, didnt really get much money cus i look old...shit...well update this shit ass blog later...and maybe put some pics as well

Terlelap Aku Dalam Lautan Emosi

2008-09-13T00:37:00.005+08:00

Apakah semua ini?
Adakah ia sebuah mimpi yang tiada bertepi?
Apakah yang aku rasakan ini?
Mengapakah dadaku terasa sesak?
Aku takut, apakah ini yang dikatakan cinta?
Tapi apakah cinta? Bukankah ia hanya sekadar perasaan?
Perasaan yang tidak membawa apa apa makna
Ingin aku jumpa kamu di ruang rindu
Aku ingin memahami hatimu disana
Adakah kamu merasakan apa yang aku rasakan?
Aku menahan perasaan ini sambil mengeluarkan air mata
Aku ingin bersedih bersamamu,
Aku ingin bergembira bersamamu,
Aku ingin kamu menemani aku buat selama-lamanya
Siapakah kamu sebenarnya?
Pada suatu saat,
Saat yang aku sangka amat indah
Aku fikir aku telah menemuimu,
Mata kita bertemu,
Mungkin salahku membiarkan perasaan yang amat indah membesar didalamku
Sekarang persoalannya ialah:
Apakah semua ini akan berlalu dan berakhir sebagai kisah asmara yang telah ternoda?

Biarkan masa menentukan segalanya
Biarkan Tuhan membuat keputusan
Sebelum aku akhiri kata hatiku, ingin ku ucapkan apapun,kapankan,dimanapun, walau apa sekali pun, akan tetap aku sayang kamu sampai bila bila walaupun hanya sebagai seorang ♥♣♥♣♥ Muahh...xoxo....hehe...

Sleepy Days

2008-09-11T09:15:00.003+08:00

Is anybody there?. It has been quite awhile since I've written anything on this blog. For starters,I've lost about a kg or 2 due to fasting. I'm writing this since I've nothing much to do at this moment of time. I thought i had a replacement class at 8.30 a.m. today but it seems I was wrong.Maybe having myself being oblivious in class yesterday was the cause to all of this crap. Now I'm currently in the library, sitting at computer number VS_17. My life as a university student has changed me a lot i guess. When i say change, there are a lot of things that i could talk about. My perspective towards life and what it means, my family and how much they mean to me, my feelings and how they have more or less matured me, my goals and as well as my existence in this life of mine.Well, that's all for now. Goodbye